Monday, June 29, 2009
Last blogged @ 1:24:00 AM

A must read for everyone!
Nigel claims that he intro-ed me that book, but I knew about it since SEC 2!

Some spoilers!
Alot people read this book already, so I'll just put a few lines from the book here.

“Hey, Joanna.” he turned serious. “You must understand, I’m doing this because I
wanna help you, okay? I want you to believe in yourself and others. Just that.
We cannot be a couple. You cannot be my girlfriend. I have my reasons. So, don’t
you ever fall in love with me, okay?”

Fuck. Damn. Ass. Bastard. Idiot.
Silly, damn, fucking bastard ass idiot!

“I’ll never fall in love with
you!” I yelled back at the top of my voice. “I’ll never love you! And you!” I
pointed at him in the chest, and then punched him in the chest repeatedly.
“Don’t you fall in love with me! Don’t you turn back and tell me ‘I love you!’!
You hear me, Jacky Wu Zhong Xian? You hear me?! Me, Joanna Fung Wai Gwan, will
never, ever fall in love with Jacky Wu Zhong Xian!”

“Cool down-” he
whispered.

“And you, Jacky Wu Zhong Xian, you’d better don’t fall in
love with me, ‘coz I’ll never love you!” I gave him a final punch before I
stepped back. My heart was beating a lot faster and my body was jerking up and
down uncontrollably. “You cannot be my boyfriend! I have my reasons! Okay! Don’t
fall in love with me!”

“Can I hold your hand?” he said.

I wanted to smile, to jump around
in ecstasy and hug him tight, and then kiss him and tell him how delighted I am.
However, I did none of the above. I balled my hand into a fist and snorted, “I
only allow my boyfriend to hold my hand.”

“Can I hold your hand?”

I looked away from him, trying to find something to say. “You can’t be
my boyfriend. You said that before. You’ve got your … reasons.”

“Can I
hold your hand?”

Now, I really felt like punching him. “No. Because only
lovers hold hands. And we are not lovers.” Not yet.

“Can I hold your
hand?”

“I am not your girlfriend. I cannot be because I have this curse
and you’ve got your own reasons.”

“Can I hold your hand?

“Only
if you’re my boyfriend and I’m your girlfriend, then we can.”

“Can I
hold your hand?”

“Remember what you once said?” I bit my lips. I was
staring at the ground, my heart beating a lot faster. My body seemed to jerk and
I was blinking a lot faster than normal. “If we hold hands, your reputation will
be spoilt. I don’t want to do that.”

“Can I … hold your hand?” he
repeated, this time weaker.

I continued walking. This was getting
nowhere. I turned to him, ready to scold him aloud when I stopped in my tracks.

His eyes were red, and a few drops of tears were rolling off his eyes.
He was breathing deeply. For the first time since I had known him, the tough and
jovial Jacky was crying in front of me.

And, he did not hold my hand.
Instead, I held his and wiped off his tears. And, as my blinking glistened back
to normalcy, tears rolled out of my eyes, as well, and I jerked harder.

We were like two scared, crying school kids who were lost. But, when I
felt his hand on mine, I felt no fear.

Only warmth.

We locked hands till we reached my house. Throughout the journey, we were
silent, as if words had suddenly vanished from our minds. But, when we reached
my void deck, he released my hand and said, “Joanna, I’m always here. I’m always
here, if you ever need me. Here.” He pointed to his heart.

This time, I
could no longer resist the urge to hug him. I wrapped my arms around him. The
tough introvert Joanna was crying for the second time within a span of an hour.
“Thanks” that was all I could manage to say.

Jacky released me gently
and took tissue paper to wipe off my tears. “Remember this. If you ever need me
and I’m not around, just wait for me. Because I’ll always be here.”

I nodded.

Ok done! No more! Even though I'm tempted to copy the whole story here!
So here's the URL to the book!
http://www.goodybooks.com/ibelieveyou.htm

I'm in love with the book!
Will read it after Common Test!
Now back to econs! D:

Saturday, June 27, 2009
Last blogged @ 8:22:00 PM

All my life I've made excuses
Pushing you away,
Saying that you're not for me
All my life...
I tried everything
In the end it was you

Thursday, June 25, 2009
Last blogged @ 11:44:00 PM

Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Last blogged @ 11:32:00 PM

Monday, June 22, 2009
Last blogged @ 9:50:00 PM

Loner = Productive
Didn't meet Sayangs to study today )':

I slept at freaking 4am just now!
Was online all the way till 4am.
Kind of guilty, cause it wasn't very productive.
Rohaida stayed up until 4am to study,
while I was online, doing god knows what.
Still kind of giddy now from the lack of sleep.
I'll sleep early today :D

Loner day at the school library just now.
It's been awhile since I stepped into the school.
Sat there and did Econs.
Not bad not bad, covered quiet alot just now.
Starting on Market structure tomorrow!
I know this is slow, but this is the best I can do :X
Still thinking wether I should go school or not tomorrow.

Went airport just now.
Sad man. Wasted trip.
Didn't get to see my Emirates pilot and stewards )':

To my dear friend,
I'm so sorry 'bout the other day. I'm feeling very
guilty over the incident. I was very confused and didn't know what to do at that
point in time. I'm sorry if I have been very cold towards you lately. I'm still
confused about what is happening now. I really hope that we get to talk to each
other again just like before soon. I really need your advice and guidance
now.
On a lighter note, don't be such a mugger. Don't over
mug. Must learn how to have fun too :D

Sunday, June 21, 2009
Last blogged @ 10:41:00 PM

I SERIOUSLY NEED TO STUDY!!!

Endless attempts to study but all failed.
All study outing failed.
And I've come to the conclusion...
I'm most productive alone!
I'm a loner :D
So, I'll never go out with anybody to study anymore.
I'll just be a loner for the remaining week and try my best to cover as much as possible.

H1N1 flu!
So many rumours saying that school holidays will be extended.
For at least 1 week.
I hope this is true, and will happen.
I really need that extra week to catch up on all my subjects.
I really need to study.
I need to stop procrastinating.

I dreamt about the band room yesterday.
The band room expanded to three times the current size :D
So cool!
If only it really came true xD
But too bad I didn't get to go in the band room in my dreams.
When I was about to open the band room door, mt father woke me up...
Lur... So anti-climax seh!

Bila cinta di dusta
Hati mula gelisah
Hilang kekasih hati
Hidup jadi merana

Friday, June 19, 2009
Last blogged @ 10:03:00 PM

Had TRUCKLOAD of FUN with my 5 SAYANGS!
Raihan, Rohaida, Musfirah, Hanisah, Brenda

The whole day was super fun!
Studied, Gossiped, Bitched, Cam-whored!
It was just the perfect day.
If only it wasn't Common Test period, it'll be more fun!
Bitching Session the whole day!

Studied at Holland V Starbucks :D
Nice place man!
Good place to lepak, study and gossip.
It was fate man.
Me and Rohaida "tawaf" NUS 2 times!
Insya-Allah dapat masuk after As.
My one and only dream... to get inside NUS!
Started Gossiping in the bus already xD

Met Mus and Brenda.
Studied awhile, macam faham, then we started our quest..
Makan Places Lost & Found!
Super funny la!
Good thing Bree brought her laptop, it helped us alot in the quest xD
Cam-whored!!!!
Hanisah and Raihan joined us later!
More Cam-whoring!!!
Continued with the quest and started gossiping xDxD
Studied awhile and continued gossiping xD
In the end, I only managed to finish 1 full question and the rest are parts of the questions...
This is the reason why I LOVE MY 5 SAYANGS!

OMG! And something incredible happened just now!
Kakak and Rohaida is slowly climbing out of the bawah 7 kaki level.
2 HOT guys approached them.
Kebabaian lah sey!
On 2 different occasion lagi.
One at Starbucks!
One at Pasar malam!

Hot Guy 1: (sitting behind us, keep staring at Rohaida)
Mus: Eh! Rohaida, dia tengok kau la.
Rohaida: Mana?
Me: Mana Mana Pun!
Mus: Kat blakang la =.=
Rohaida: (turn around & saw the guy)
Hot Guy 1: Smiled and lipped Hello!
Rohaida: (tersenyum kemaluan)

Brenda: Ramly Burger 5!
Hot Guy 2: (making eye contact with kakak)
Mus: Kita beli 5 burger semua $2.50 boleh la.
Hot Guy 2: Alah boleh la. Pasal si die ni nya pasal (points to kakak)
Kakak: (thinks he's hot!)

PASAR MALAM!
Didn't eat the whole day.
Ramly Burger was my only meal for the day.
Bought cheese Hotdog too!
Super fattening man!
I'm going on a hunger strike tomorrow xD
Super exciting!
I love pasar malam like how I love my 5 sayangs like how I love myself!
Went to kakak's condo to eat!
Yummy!!!

Jokes of the day:

Mus: Eh, kenapa Orang India takda Untung?
Me: Tak tau? 0.o
Mus: (And her tabla actions) Takda Untung Takda Untung *_ _ _ _ _
slang*

Mus: (pointing to poster) No Pets Allowed
Mus: So *someone* cannot come here :D
Everyone: ROFL!!!

Rohaida: I showed her the photo then she replied me; NOT MY CUP OF TEA!
Me: ROFL!!!

Bila keyakinanku datang
Kasih bukan sekadar cinta
Pengorbanan cinta yang agung
Ku pertaruhkan

Thursday, June 18, 2009
Last blogged @ 11:24:00 PM

PIMPLE OUTBREAK!
This is super horrible.
I hate it when this happens.
The pimple cream is not working.
I will just die!

Studying tomorrow with Sayangs!
City Hall.
My new hang out place.
Went there yesterday, going again tomorrow and Saturday!
Going to the same place 3 times in a week.
How cool is that!
Very!
Must finish up econs and math tomorrow!
If not I die :/

I want to go esplanade again.
Suddenly feel addicted to the place.
It's peaceful there.
I want to watch the sunset from on the rooftop.
Surely got good view from up there.

Satu kata bertulis cinta
Telah merasuki ku
Tak berwujud tak tersentuh hanya ku rasa

Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Last blogged @ 11:29:00 PM

Macs! Super fattening!

Vege person trying to be funny!

Guess who's the pilot

Random shot! Train super crowded!

I'm not deprived
I'm just more innocent than you xD

Last blogged @ 9:14:00 AM

Rina sent this to me :D
Pass it on to your band geek BF.
Macam faham seh! Band Geek BF :X
But yeah, looking at the picture, reminds me of the TK Band times.
Missing all those times D:
And now, I'm missing SAJC Band practices.
I don't know why.
I used to hate Indoor so much, but now, I'm having alot of fun :D
Although it gets very stressful at times :X
But I'll survive (:

Chat of the night yesterday!
Guitar later!
I should be bathing now, but can't resist not blogging :D
Later people!
Not studying today :D

Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Last blogged @ 9:24:00 PM

Monday, June 15, 2009
Last blogged @ 10:17:00 PM

Sunday, June 14, 2009
Last blogged @ 10:27:00 PM

Saturday, June 13, 2009
Last blogged @ 9:01:00 PM

Friday, June 12, 2009
Last blogged @ 11:41:00 AM

Thursday, June 11, 2009
Last blogged @ 11:36:00 PM

Just realised that in 09A04 there's alot of people with blogs.
So, I'll just make my blog alive again :D
I know people's been waiting for this day to come, for me to update my blog...
Muahahhaha I LOVE MYSELF!
wait... This post is supposed to be an emo one.
I'm not emo everday, so when I say I'm emo, means it's really bad for me :X

Came back from Brisbane!
Fun trip & I almost forgot about the real world.
It was so fun, that I forgot that I still have loads of stuff to do back in S'pore.
So when I came back, I opened my planner and realised that I had to do many many things.
Thus, I was on emo mode :(

Let's see, I have to study for common test, hand in math assignment, econs revision package, re-do PW survey, first draft of PW logo and the list goes on...
Talking about PW, I was lookinf through Facebook and Blog hopping just now.
How wonderful it is if my group could be bonded like the other groups are.
Is it my fault? That the group is not bonded.

Was it a bad choice for me to be the leader? Why can't my group be as cheerful as theirs?
We're not digresssing during meetings and we can't even complete the given tasks properly.
So what are we? We've been getting scoldings from Ms K for every assignments given?
She even noticed that we're not working well together. If a tutor can see this, it means, ALERT!
I see that other groups have taken photos with their group mates, joking during meetings, cheerful meeting atmosphere. And my group, ... I don't know who's fault is it? I'm not pointing fingers or blaming anyone, I'm just curious, why my group just cannot bond. This really bothers me. I was once the SL of the band. And seeing my section bond so well really motivates me to work with them even more. I'm still recalling how did I bond my section last time. Now that my group dosen't bond, I have no drive! But still, I have to get work done, and the best solution is doing it individually. And of course this is super bloody bad. Why do you even call it Project Work when you end up doing things individually and just fixing the pieces together?

I think that the best solution is going for more outings.
But the problem is, will they want to do it?
Are they willing to sacrifise time just for some PW group outing?
I hope so. We really need to work something out.
We'll be sticking with each other for the next half a year.
So we have to do it together.

I really hope that I can bond my group.
We need to work together.
We can make this happen.
We will get our Distinction if we work together!

:D
I'm not angry, just relieving my stress!
Don't bother reading if it's too long for you, I was just ranting